Big Night On The Town

When Bobby was small enough for a stroller, we went everywhere.  He sat so well in his stroller and as long as we were moving, he was a happy boy.  With his sippy cup in the cup holder, snack cup at his side we logged many miles in malls, stores, Idlewild, Kennywood, Hershey Park,...Finally he got too tall and he drug his feet along the floor and the stroller was put away.  We were limited to stores that had shopping carts.  Bobby sat happily in the cart and watched while I pushed him through the isles of Walmart, Sam's Club, Target, Lowe's, grocery stores.  Our shopping world was much more limited, but we adjusted.  Finally, Bobby got too big for store shopping carts and our shopping world with Bobby became almost non-existent.

We have been working on walking through stores with Bobby holding our hand and things have been getting worse instead of better.  Bobby has gotten to the point where he is refusing to get out of the car at Sam's Club and Lowes.  Bob and I tried to force him out of the car at Sam's Club and Bobby sat down in the parking lot like we were hurting him.  He won, no Sam's Club that day.  On one of his days off from school, I pushed the issue of Sam's Club and he and I went to the store again.  We did get into the store and Bobby held the back of his hands over his eyes and said, "car, car, car" over and over.  I pushed him further into the store and he finally said "pee potty" so we went to the bathroom (which, by the way, is the one place that REALLY bothered him as a toddler.  We have finally beat the public bathroom terror.)  He didn't have to use the potty, it was almost like he needed a break.  When we went back into the store, he again said "car, car, car."  I tried to take him into the store and get a couple of things that he really likes...Elmo video, cheetos, ring pop.  But he wasn't having it, he just wanted out of that place.  Once we were out in the parking lot, he immediately calmed down and his anxiety was over.

                                                   Roughing up the PlayDoh!!

Bobby's life was getting pretty limited (and frustrating).  He would go to Giant Eagle well with me to get a couple of groceries.  I take him there because they have self check outs and generally don't have to deal with waiting in line.  He would also still walk around the mall without major anxiety issues.  I was thinking about it one night...he is ok in Giant Eagle and does fairly well in the mall (has issues, but doesn't mind going).  No to Sam's, Walmart, Lowes.  All of the no stores have exposed ceilings and we already know that he doesn't like gymnasiums.  Giant Eagle and mall stores have drop ceilings.  I decided to take him to Target a couple of weeks ago to see how he did.  Well, he walked around the store holding my hand like a champ.  He wasn't noisy (he makes an eeeeee noise, especially when stressed) and actually had a smile on his face.  We have gone back a few times in the past couple of weeks.  Daddy has even gone with us (I think that he needed to see to believe!!).

                                                    He found a caterpillar.

Yesterday after school, I took Bobby outside to play (as seen in all of these blog pictures) while Daddy did some outside work.  Bobby did such a great job staying in the yard and playing.  He even sat on my lap on the swing and we had a "moment" (my autism friends will get this), we were face to face singing and Bobby gently removed my hair that had blown into my mouth (it was very windy and my hands were full holding onto Bobby).

He asked to "ride in car" and since he was being such a good boy, I wanted to honor his request and help to teach him that you are more likely to get what you want when you have good behavior.  Daddy said that he would go to and the three of us got into the car and headed off to Target.

                                               He dropped the caterpillar.

Bobby held my hand and the three of us started walking our lap around the store.  Me:  "Bobby, whats this?  (pointing to a pair of Cookie Monster men's pajama pants)  Bobby:  "Cookie Monster" Yes!!!!  We go to the toy dept and he again identified cookie monster as well as Elmo, Dora, bubbles.  In the pet dept, I pulled Bobby into the dog food isle.  Me:  "What's this?"  (pointing to a pic of a dog).  Bobby:  "Dog"  Me:  "What does a dog say?"  Bobby:  "woof woof".  Then to the cat food isle.  "What's this?"  "cat"  "what does a cat say?"  "meow"  Yes, Bobby!!!!!!  He identified a few more things in the next few isles.  Then he said "milk".  Me:  "What do you want?" Bobby:  "I want milk."

We walked over to the snack counter and Bobby picked a milk out of the cooler.  I picked up an apple dipper for him and ordered him chicken nuggets.  Bob and Bobby went and sat down at a table while I paid and got our cup, napkins....  Bobby sat down drank him milk.  We were shocked when he started dipping an apple into caramel dip.   (Bobby doesn't really eat sweet things, other than pillsbury sugar cookies and dum dum suckers and he doesn't try new things very often).  He dipped the apple and licked the caramel while drinking his milk all while sitting perfectly in his seat. Bob and I just sat there (elated!!).  It took quite a while before the chicken nuggets ever arrived at our table so Bob finally took Bobby for one more lap around the store and to the bathroom.

When they got back to the table the chicken nuggets were cool and ready to eat.  Bobby sat right down and started eating (again we were shocked because the nuggets were not from McDonalds).  He ate all of them, drank the rest of his milk and chewed on some more apple before we got up, cleaned up the table and left the store.

Bob and I sat there so unbelievably happy.  We were out of the house.  Bobby was acting appropriately.  We both had a tear in our eye.  Not because we were at Target, but getting a hopeful glimpse into our future.  A future in which we can venture out into the world as a family and do the ordinary things that most families take for granted.  We found a public spot in this world that Bobby doesn't experience great anxiety.  We are learning to look at his behavior as indicators of he extreme anxiety and sensory overloads, not as him being "bad."  Honestly, unless you were sitting by us for a while, you would have never known that Bobby had autism, that is how well our evening went.  Now, I just have to hunt for some new location that is acceptable in Bobby's World.

How many of you are shocked that I don't have pictures of Bobby walking through Target and sitting there eating his chicken nuggets????!!!!!