Bobby's infancy was super easy. He was a GREAT baby!!! I didn't know that I could be so happy.
For almost a year (6 months through 1 1/2 years old), Bobby went to sleep at about 6:30 pm and slept until 6:30 am. Daddy worked shift work in a coal mines at the time and I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with Bobby, so we were able to stick to this routine very well. I would change his diaper before I went to bed around 10 and give him a bottle and he made it to morning. Talk about a lucky mom!!!!!
Bobby's toys kept him extremely occupied, all of the flashing lights and buttons to push and the music, every toy played music which he loved. He was able to entertain himself with all of these toys and didn't want Mommy to hold him all day like some babies do, in fact he didn't like being held at all. Well now I know why.
Bobby's toddler days were pretty easy too. He still had all of his toddler toys that flashed and sang to him and he definitely had his favorites. He loved to go places with Mommy. I would load him in the car, pack his diaper bag and his stroller and he was HAPPY to go along for the ride.
But then he wasn't....his words never came. What came instead was worry, evaluations, testing, more professionals and the beginning of a journey for which no parent can ever be prepared.
A time in my life that I truthfully would just rather forget. Bobby was officially diagnosed with autism a few months prior to his third birthday......I didn't know that I could be so sad.
I made a decision right before he turned three, the hardest decision that I had ever had to make....I started the process of getting Bobby enrolled in school. Ironically at the time, I was running an in-home day care. People were paying me money to bring their children into my home so that I could take care of them, yet I was going to send my 3 year old non-verbal child to an elementary school because I needed help taking care of him. Talk about feeling like the worst mother in the world...a complete and utter failure!
After 3 years in pre-K, it was time to move on to kindergarten. Bobby was also diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Social Anxiety. He had to have medication changes leading to severe aggressiveness. Lucky me, I got to be one of his favorite targets for the aggression. Yeah, that's not covered in any of the parenting books that I have ever read.
We could not leave Bobby unattended for any amount of time at all. He had a major elopement problem and on a couple of occasions he was missing for periods of times. Once for 20 minutes in the woods that surround our home, once he walked down to one of our neighbor's home in his underwear and walked right in. Elopement was also an issue at school and they even changed the locks on the playground gates and on his classroom door. Bobby wears a tracking device from our local sheriff's office at all times.
Our house has been like Fort Knox. We have had to up the game on child proofing to make sure that things were Bobby proof. We didn't get the luxury of taking these things off when Bobby made it to school aged, our's got stronger. You had to get a key off of a hook above every door in our house to get into that room. If you needed to use the bathroom, yes, you had to unlock the door from the outside with a key before you could enter. Every cabinet in the kitchen and bathroom, the pantry, the fridge all had childproofing items. Door alarms on exterior doors. Bobby's twin bed brought into the master bedroom and he is locked inside the room with us at night so that if he gets up during the night, he can't leave without a key. Windows on the 2nd level bolted shut because Bobby got the window in his bedroom (the only unlocked room in the house at the time because every thing in there was safe for him to play with) open, knocked the screen out and was bent over looking out the window when Daddy went upstairs to check on him.
We didn't go anywhere for a couple of years as a family after Bobby grew out of the shopping cart seat. His behavior was so erratic, our nerves were shot, it just was not fun. Besides school, special needs activities, school playgrounds and therapies, Bobby was pretty much home bound. Let me tell you, it's not easy on a family when this happens.
Thankfully, with a great deal of hard work, prayers, and plain old maturity, Bobby's life has changed dramatically over the past year and a half. He started an intensive behavioral therapy program that has been helping him to find his words. Combined with working hard in school, Bobby is learning to read, type and even a little bit of writing. Accomplishments that quite frankly, Daddy and I didn't think that he would ever achieve. That will teach us to never underestimate him.
Most of our childproofing has been removed. We can now open the fridge, pantry, cabinet doors with ease. The interior doors are no longer locked. However, you still need a key to go outside. The windows are still bolted and his bed is still in the master, but he hasn't tried to elope our home in well over a year.
We have liquid soap located by all of our sinks again and Bobby hasn't dumped them out in a very long time. Same for shampoo and lotions in the bathrooms. Bobby doesn't run the water in the sinks any more just so he can stick his hands under the running water. He leaves the light on (or off) appropriately, most of the time. He doesn't sit and shuffle his little plastic toys for hours anymore. Most importantly.........Bobby is fully potty trained. I haven't had to clean out underwear in months. He also leaves the flushable wipes in the container and doesn't dump them out to play with them as a sensory toy. He also is learning to wipe his own bottom and has the desire to do so. One day, I won't have to wipe him anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Most importantly, Bobby is learning to talk. Now that he can tell us what he wants, his life is becoming much more manageable. We are exploring the world with Bobby and through Bobby. We are getting out....to the pool, the beach, public playgrounds, the mall and other stores, bowling, restaurants. Bobby is able to get out into the world again. Our family is much happier. Our good days far out number our bad. We still have issues to work on, but we now have a renewed faith in his ability to achieve these goals.
This is definitely not the blog posting that I had in mind when I started this earlier today, but some how an overview of his life to this point came out. Funny thing happened....I had to take a break mid blogging to go pick him up from school and I ran into two different staff members. One was talking to me about the changes that she has seen in Bobby this year and didn't realize that he had been doing behavioral therapy and so happy about his successful results. The second was his aide that goes into regular education situations with Bobby. She had pictures from last week and today to share with me. Again, just so excited with the progress that he has made this year.
Look at the smile on his face!!! He's playing basketball during physical education with his regular ed. peers in the gym that in previous years he all but refused to walk into. He's having fun with his peers...this kid with a social anxiety diagnosis!!!!!! He's in the gym!!!!! OMG, what a great kid!!!!
