Barefoot Bobby

For the first 6 years of Bobby's life he did not wear shoes.  He didn't really get his first pair of shoes until he was one.  He had the little fabric type shoes that come with baby outfits, but they don't really count.  I took him to Stride Rite and had his foot measured and he got a pair of tennis shoes and a pair of dress shoes.  I left the store spending around $100 on toddler shoes.  I should have just thrown the money into the trash because he wouldn't leave the shoes on. 

Bobby trying to get his new shoes OFF!!!

It was a never ending battle.  I would put his shoes on (and finally he would just let me) and then he would take them off.  People were always coming up to me in stores and handing me shoes that Bobby dropped on the floor from his seat in the shopping cart.  I finally just gave up and Bobby spent most of his time shoeless.

Shoeless Baby Bobby

Barefoot toddler Bobby

Since Bobby lived his life without wearing shoes, he had tough little feet.  He played outside in the mulch, rocks, woods without shoes on.  Here he is climbing his rock wall like a barefooted champ!!

A barefoot Red Power Ranger

Now don't get me wrong, Bobby always had shoes and the battle continued.  I would put them on him to go outside and he would take them off and leave them in the yard.  He wore his shoes back and forth to school but would take them off on the bus ride home.  Since he wouldn't leave his shoes on at school (for his 3 years of Pre-K), I finally bought Crocs to leave at school so that he could slip them on and walk down the hall to speech therapy, occupational therapy, lunch, recess, phys ed.  Funny thing is he would leave the Crocs on for big parts of the day.  So, Bobby's Croc period began.

I bought real crocs, fake crocs, blue crocs, orange crocs...you get the idea!!  Bobby wore these plastic shoes everywhere and he had the independence to put them on and take them off himself with ease.

Bobby played outside in his Crocs until they became too filled with mulch, dirt and rocks and then he would take them off and leave them in the yard.  There were many mornings before school when I was running around our yard looking for his shoes because he had left multiple pairs outside.

When it was time for Bobby to start kindergarten, I decided to try again and find a pair of tennis shoes that Bobby would wear because I didn't want him to stick out even more from the other kids by wearing Crocs all of the time.  Taking Bobby to a shoe store is out of the question.  The lines of shoes on the wall, the stacks of shoe boxes is just too much for him.  I would not be able to look while he was destroying the inventory.  Someone getting him to cooperate while they measured his foot was even more out of the question.  So, I again took to the internet to look at shoe options.  While on Stride Rite's website, I noticed that they had a shoe sizer that you printed off to measure at home before you ordered.  So, I printed off a shoe sizer and measured Bobby's foot.  It said that he needed a 2X wide.  I had bought him wide shoes in the past with no success. I took the measurements and went over to the Stride Rite store.  They had one double wide in stock. I paid $60 for shoes for Bobby (thinking to myself that I should just shoot myself for paying this much for a kid who won't wear shoes). 

Bobby wore his new shoes to school the next day and I stuffed his pair of Crocs into his backpack.  He wore his new shoes all day. NEVER took them off ONCE!!  It wasn't shoes after all.  It was that his shoes were TOO NARROW!!  My child's feet had been hurting in shoes his whole life and he couldn't tell me.  I felt like the worst mother in the world. 

Bobby now wears shoes when we leave the house.  He has school shoes, play shoes, still has a pair of crocs, and even has started wearing flip flops.   His feet aren't as tough as they used to be, but he can still out run anyone through the rocks while barefoot.  Now, if the rest of his issues were this easy of a fix!!

It's been a crazy week

What a crazy week!!  Between a heat wave that lasted for days, endless swimming, riding the new Rhino, a yard sale, picking peaches, peeling peaches, freezing peaches, Bobby's lack of sleep while adjusting to his new medication...I am worn out!!  My house looks like a disaster.  I need to get off of this computer and go clean!!  But, we have been having some fun.

Ashley came and stayed with Grandma Carolyn for awhile.  She also came and visited with us and played with her cousin. 

Warning to any of our guests...if you get into the trampoline with Bobby, he will not let you out!!

The biggest news of the week-ESY ended for Bobby yesterday.  ESY (Extended School Year-for children with disabilities) varies between school districts.  In Monongalia County, ESY runs for 6 weeks, Mon-Thur, from 9-12.  For some reason, the kids seem to love it!!  The rest of the school is basically empty so they don't have the noise and choas of the regular school year.  They receive individual attention.  WVU students come and work with the kids.  But most of all, moms get a 3 hour break!!

School doesn't actually end until today, but since the school is located right in the middle of Mountain Fest (a huge biker festival) that starts today, I didn't want to deal with thousands of Harley's trying to get Bobby home from school. Since I took my camera to school yesterday to get a couple of pictures of Bobby at ESY, I took one of the preparations going on for Mt.Fest.

A ferris wheel!!  Those bikers know how to party!!!

I went into Bobby's classroom to take pictures of him, but once Mommy walks in, in Bobby's eyes, it is time to LEAVE and leave NOW.  So, I only got a couple of pics.

Bobby's teacher trying her best to hold him for a picture.  Good news, if everything stays the same, this will be Bobby's middle school teacher and they will already know each other from summer school when it is time to make this major transition.

I took Bobby over by Sonny to get a picture of the two of them together and as soon as I clicked, Bobby started jumping!!!

I am sad that another year of ESY is over, but Bobby now gets 3 weeks of actual summer!!  We didn't have to get up and go anywhere this morning, but Bobby is dressed anyway and ready to go (in yesterday's clothes).  It is going to be a long 3 weeks!!!

The boy's new toy

From the time that Bob found out that we were having a boy, his dreams for his life with a son were coaching his t-ball team, watching him play football, teaching him how to work on a car and the same dreams that many dads have about their son.  When Bobby was a toddler he had no interest in playing with his baseball, golf or football toys.  He also had no interest in playing with his toy tools or his various tool benches.  After Bobby's autism diagnosis and years of trying to build some interest, it is evident that Bobby will never have an interest in these dreams of his fathers. 

They have, however, shared one interest from the time that Bobby was very little.  Bobby loves riding a 4 wheeler with his daddy.  Most days when Bob walks through the door home from work, Bobby goes to him and takes his hand and says "ride". 

(Thought that I would throw in a couple of snow pictures to help get us through all of the heat this week!!)

The two of them can be seen riding around our yard and up and down our hill on the 4 wheeler almost on a daily basis.

A couple of weeks ago, Bob and Bobby set out on their first adventure alone (without Me!!), a 4 wheeler ride on a large piece of land in Preston Co.  The boys had a great time.

(Bob helping Bobby put on his helmet to get ready for their 4 wheeler trip)

When they got home Bob was excited that they had a good time with only a couple of small issues.  I had to burst the bubble and said that Bobby was getting too big to ride in front of him on the 4 wheeler and was not trustworthy enough to ride behind him and hold on.  I said that he needed one with 2 seats.  Well, that was like permission from Mom.  Bob took to ebay and the bulletin board trying to locate the perfect new ride so that they could continue their one shared interest.  After weeks of searching, a new (used) toy arrived at our house last night...

A rhino with 2 seats, including seat belts, doors, a roll bar!!  Notice how Bobby is holding on tight.  He doesn't like new things and he has never riden in the front seat of a car.  It will take awhile before Bobby is loving this thing like the 4 wheeler.  The boys can go off together and ride trails much more safely. 



Bobby and Zoi

A couple of years ago, I read 2 different books about Golden Retrievers changing the lives of boys with autism. Somehow these dogs were able to break through the barriers that these boys put up unlike any human ever could.  I set out on a mission, to get Bobby a Golden Retriever puppy.  Instead of a puppy, Zoi, a 2 year old blonde Golden came into our lives.  Unfortunately, Bobby didn't respond to Zoi like I had dreamed and it turns out that Bobby's dad, my husband Bob, was the one who really needed Zoi.

Since Bobby doesn't have any siblings who force him to interact with them, Zoi has taken on that role.  Bobby used to call Zoi "Go lay down" instead of her name.  Zoi didn't care and unlike any human doesn't give up after failed attempts to play.  Zoi does follow Bobby like a sibling and is there 24/7 like it or not. 

Here Bobby is trying to sit under the table and watch his DVD player, but Zoi doesn't care, she wants to sit there too.  Just like siblings-wanting what the other one has!!

Bobby is trying to open his birthday presents, but Zoi wants in on the action too.

Zoi likes to sit underneath of Bobby when he eats...one bite for Bobby and then he throws down one bite for Zoi.

Bobby is trying to play with his train table and Zoi wants to see what is going on.

Hanging out in the yard.  Zoi is on a leash, so she can't leave, but Bobby is hanging out close.

Bobby was playing in his room and Zoi went to supervise (well, sleep!!).

Alright you two, go get in your own beds!!!!

Bobby used to be afraid of dogs when he was a toddler.  Now, he gives Zoi treats, will throw a ball to her, knows that she is a dog and that dogs say "woof."  He is used to her being around all of the time and they play out in the fenced yard together.  Zoi digs holes and Bobby plays in them!!  The other night, I asked Bobby to do something...

Bobby can't really tell me how he feels about Zoi , or about anyone else, but when I was looking through the pictures of them together, I think that he loves her more than I know!!

Lazy days of summer

Not much going on in Bobby's world lately, just same old summer routine.  Swimming, playing outside, swimming, going to summer school, swimming, puzzles and other work, swimming, jumping on indoor trampoline, swimming, watching Elmo, swimming, ipad....did I mention swimming??

Funny thing about autism, many kids have good and bad days.  Bobby had a great day today.  He was able to pull out the words that he wanted to say so much easier today.  When that happens, his behavior is much better.  Every time he has a really good day, it makes me realize how much his negative behaviors are linked to frustration over not being able to verbalize what he wants to say.  He still only labels words (has about 25 that he uses consistently) and has a long way to go before sentences.  He said "pancakes" at breakfast time and I generally make him toast and an apple...it would have to put you in a better mood when you get to actually eat what you want.  Other days he can't even make himself put a pancake in his mouth.  So I get to try to figure it all out every day.

I took some random pictures around the yard while Bobby was playing...

My view of Bobby while I was laying in the yard.  Before long, he really will be this big.

In a couple of weeks, we are going to have tons of peaches.

Black Eyed Susans are starting to bloom.

Yellow flowers make me happy.

Going to bed makes me even happier, so Good Night!!!

It's time to work

Since it is a yucky, rainy day, Bobby got to work.  First we worked on lower case letter identification.  He know all of the upper case, but only about half of the lower case.  He matched with his new puzzle cards and got to line them up when he verbalized the letter.

He prefers to work independently and is learning to use visual intructions.

Singing away while he works...

I tried to take pics when we were doing tasks where he had to wait and follow directions, but didn't have much luck.  So most of the pics are his fun puzzles.

The fire truck siren goes off when the last puzzle piece is put in.

This is his favorite part of each activity...putting it AWAY!!!

Yes, Kevin Clash (a.k.a .  Elmo) even makes it into Bobby's work routine!!

Doing everything he can NOT to sit with his hands nicely sitting folded on the table to wait for his next instruction.

Working on shape identification and he insists on keeping all of the puzzle boards on the table at once.

I just realized that you can't see his work/break card strip in any of these pictures.  So...at the top of the table, there is a velcro strip glued down the entire length of the table.  He has work and break cards alternated across the strip.  When he sits down, I point to the work card and he says "time to work", when he is finished with his task, he pulls off the work card and says "time for break" and he gets a 1 minute break.  When the timer buzzes, he comes back to his seat and takes off the break card and says "time to work" until all of the cards are removed.  This system was set up for him so that he could see how much longer/many more tasks he has to work.  He then gets a 10 minute break and the cards are lined up again.  We generally do 2 sets of these cards at work work event.  Right now he is having his free time and we will do 2 more sets today.

Smith family fun day

Every once in awhile, the planets aligns perfectly and we have Smith family fun day.  It is rare when all three of us are fully present in the moment and able to play with no meltdowns, inappropriate behavior or anything else getting in the way.  I realize that this can be hard for all families, but when autism is in the mix, these moments are beyond precious.  Bob used to call these moments, Mom's getting all warm and fuzzy, but the name has transformed to Smith family fun.  The fun can vary from minutes or to a whole day like last summer when we went to Lake Erie. 

Yesterday, early evening, Bobby and I went out and got into the pool.   The most important factor in this event was that Bobby had a huge BM an hour earlier (TMI, I know, but huge in his behavioral issues).  Bobby had also eaten, the water temp. was perfect and it has in the upper 80s outside.  Daddy came outside and joined the little pool party and the fun began.  I did have to leave the moment and run inside to get my camera so that I could take pictures and videos since Bobby loves, loves, loves to watch videos of himself and I want him to watch videos of himself having good behaviors (a teaching technique called video modeling).

Daddy, for some crazy reason, put on Bobby's spiderman goggles and began swimming underwater towards Bobby and that was the funniest thing that Bobby had ever witnessed.  He was laughing out loud like we rarely get to hear him do.  So, of course, Bob had to swim underwater over and over so that we could hear our little boy laugh out loud again and again.

Bobby's favorite pool activity is to be sprayed by the pool noodle "nuuudle".  He brings it to you to hold onto the water intake to make a water fountain.

We played in the water for about an hour, then Bobby got out and said "all done".  Bob and I were bummed that it was over but extremely happy that it happened at all.   

The perfect ending to family fun day, especially since he had been up since 4:30 am.  Maybe, just maybe, we can have Smith family fun day again today...this is what keeps me going!!!

I love/hate Kevin Clash

Right now I can hear Kevin Clash coming from 2 different areas of my home.  This is a common thing in this house and it is not unusual to hear even more.   Material items are not important to Bobby, except for his Kevin Clash collection.  This household is part of the reason that this man is so successful.  His items are ones that we replace if they become damaged and Bobby's collection is pretty big!!  I wonder what this man has that I don't that appeals to Bobby.  He has been able to teach Bobby lessons that he hasn't been able to get anywhere else.  Ordinarily Bobby would have been over this stage of his life years ago, but Kevin Clash is a daily presence in our lives.  Most of the time I have learned to tune this mans voice out, but sometimes I get the mood to scream at the top of my lungs, especially when he is singing Christmas songs year round. 

Children in Egypt are counting, children in China are counting, children in Africa are counting, children in 120 countries are counting on YOU. Bobby often talks about helping children in these countries because this plays before every Elmo's World video. Well, we have more than supported these children through our vast collection of Elmo videos, stuffed animals, plastic toys, and now apps.   Thank you Kevin Clash for helping Bobby learn letters, numbers and concepts even if you do it in the most annoying voice ever!!

Happy 4th of July

This week on facebook, I have noticed multiple postings upset that they don't say the Pledge of Allegiance in schools anymore.  In response, I wanted to post a video that I have already posted on facebook in the past couple of weeks.

I was getting Bobby dressed and put on his Old Navy flag shirt.  He went over to the mirror and started running his hands over the flag...must have been the stripes that caught his attention.  I said, "I pledge allegiance" and Bobby finished.  After I picked my mouth up off of the floor, I ran to get the camera hoping that he would repeat it at least one more time.  Thankfully he did.  I must confess that he has never heard me say this to him and it is not on one of his Elmo or Blue's Clues videos.  He has, however, heard it every school day morning for the past 4 years.  A different child comes into the school office everyday and says the pledge over the pa system. 

I am not sure if the decision to say the pledge in school is a school by school, district or state decision.  I do know that Bobby is listening to everything and that Skyview Elementary, Morgantown, Monongalia County, West Virginia, USA says the Pledge of Allegiance everyday.

Happy 4th of July!!!!!

 

Everyone line up!!!

I got out Bobby's wooden block set a couple of weeks ago while he was having a play date.  I always hope that this is the time that Bobby will start building towers and other structures, but no luck.  Maybe he will build with his Mega Blocks, no luck.  Maybe he will drive his cars over the couch back or take them outside and make a race track in the dirt, no luck.  He does however, line all of these things up with precision.  He carefully lines them, checks out every angle, then moves them slightly.  When the are perfect, it is time to move them somewhere else.  He got out all of his lineable treasures this morning and worked so hard getting everything just right.  Please excuse the underwear...we are working on wearing clothes all of the time, but still have a long way to go.