Every one in a while, I come across something that causes me to reflect back. Yesterday a group of pictures of Bobby playing outside among the autumn colors in 2009 was in my Facebook memories. My first instinct was to wish that Bobby was once again that age, a sweet, 5 year old Bobby....what could be better?? Look at that baby face, I could just kiss those cheeks for hours.
Then...........the reality of that time period started coming back. Let me tell you.....it was NOT fun! You would never be able to tell from the sweet pictures but man, being Bobby's parent back then was difficult!!
The biggest issue during this time period......Bobby's lack of communication skills. He couldn't tell me what he wanted making life rough. Now that he has better, still not great, but much better, verbal communication, sometimes he asks for things that I would never guess that he was thinking about or wanting. I was constantly guessing what he wanted and trying to keep up with all of his needs to minimize meltdowns as best that I could. Probably even more difficult in the communication process was his lack of receptive communication, he just did not understand what we were asking of him verbally. Thankfully, his receptive communication has grown leaps and bounds.
The other major issue of the time.........Bobby's wandering issues. Bobby was a runner!!! He wanted to go WHERE he wanted to go WHEN he wanted to go!! We literally could not let him out of our sight! All Bobby wanted to do was be outside, for as many hours as possible. On non-school days, we were outside at least 8 hours. We were outside from the time he got home from school until dinner time, then back outside until bedtime.
He would run around until he found his desired spot in the yard and he would sit in one spot for an hour or so and play in the dirt, leaves, grass clippings, etc., then he would get up and go find a new spot. That meant that mommy or daddy had to sit there for that long too. It's very difficult to get yourself to the place where you allow yourself to be what your child needs you to be and turn off the part of your brain that feels like you are wasting so much time.....after all, there are meals to be prepared, dishes to be washed, laundry to be done, floors to be swept, tv shows to be watched and you are just sitting in the yard for hours upon end. If we were not right by his side, he would bolt. He knew when we weren't right there and took full advantage of these situations to go where he wanted to go, no matter the danger!!
The year before these pictures were taken is when Bobby began wearing a Project Lifesaver GPS bracelet at all times on his ankle because of this wandering tendency. Bobby left our house, in his underwear, and went down our street and walked right into our neighbors house. We live with the woods bordering our house on three sides and Bobby went missing in the woods for 45 minutes one time before Bob found him while searching on his 4 wheeler. This particular time I had to call 911 and a Project Lifesaver search team was being assembled before I called back that he was found. More times than I care to remember, we would turn our heads for literally 1 minute and Bobby would be gone.....he knew when our eyes were NOT on him!!!! This is the absolute best part of the present, Bobby no longer has this issue, but I am not just quite ready to remove his bracelet, since it doesn't bother him anyway.
Our home felt like a prison during this time period. Every door in our house has a key lock on it and all of the keys were kept on a key chain out of his reach. If you wanted to go to the basement, you had to unlock the door. If you wanted to go into any bedroom other than Bobby's, you had to unlock the door. If you wanted to go into any bathroom beside the main level powder room, you had to unlock the door. The exterior doors also had alarms on them as well as locks.
Extreme child proofing was all over our house. Child locks on the fridge, all cabinets, all everything. Cooking was a pain because I had to unlock everything multiple times during the process. Washing your hands was even difficult because the soap was stored locked in the cabinet under each sink because Bobby would just pour out liquid soaps into the drain or he would chew on bar soap. All of our surfaces were cleared off of just about anything because Bobby would dump it, throw it or trash it. We got used to it and honestly assumed that our home would ALWAYS be that way.
Presently, we have zero child proofing in our home!! Whoo hoo!!
Life is much easier now. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy, but easier.
We have different challenges now that we didn't have then. The number one current challenge....the word "buggy." He YELLS this word, sometimes non-stop, periodically throughout the day and even in his sleep. This word has taken on a world of its own. It started out meaning, "I want to go push the buggy at Giant Eagle (or Target)." Now, it is almost like a tic that he can't stop yelling out.
One major benefit of this reflection.....I'm almost 100 percent certain that this behavior will one day go away and be replaced with another behavior. He doesn't stand at the top of the stairs anymore and throw item after item down the staircase. He doesn't turn on water faucets and run them non-stop to feel the water run over his fingers, he doesn't dump bottles of lotion over his head, he doesn't wet the bed or his underwear (whoo hoo!!),.....all things that drove us crazy at some point in the past.
So, no, I don't want to go re-live this point from our past. Ironic thing is, I'm certain that in 7 years in the future, I will look back at this time and think, man I wouldn't want to go back to that point for anything......after all, puberty is here!!! Body parts are changing, attitudes are changing......we are holding on, it's going to be a bumpy ride!!!!!!
