A Picture Says It All

This weekend we had a big 10th birthday celebration at Marilla Pool and Water Slides for Bobby and two of his autism friends.  The weather was perfect, the kids had a great time......the party was a huge success!!

When I came home and downloaded all of the pictures that I took, there is one that really stood out to me....

The more that I think about this picture, the more that it says to me.  When I first saw the picture, I thought that all five of the boys in the picture have autism, but as I looked through all of the pictures a couple of more time, I realized that there is one NT (for those of you not up on autism lingo, NT means neurotypical...doesn't have autism!!) kid in the picture, which kind of even makes it better.

I met the other autism moms that hosted this birthday party with me when our kids were in pre-K. We were pretty new to autism and all felt alone and scared.  I started a support group and now, this many years later, these other moms have become my very good friends.  The guest list basically consisted of the kids that we met in the support group many years ago as well as some of the boy's classmates and a few others.

When I first met the support group moms, we shared information on doctors that we had seen, therapies and therapists that we had tried, diets, strategies, books......all that we talked about was autism, which was the absolute center of our universes.

Now, we are celebrating these boys turning 10 years old.  All of the kids on our autism guest list have also grown older.  Something happened along the way that we couldn't have even imagined when we were all sitting around the table in our support group meetings 6 years ago.  Our kids matured and learned.  Maybe even more importantly, we have relaxed as autism parents.  We have conversations that don't revolve around autism!!  Imagine that!!

If this picture had been taken when we met, the boys would have all been holding on to their mother's (or father's) hand as they walked up to the top of the water slides.  Or maybe even a mom would be dragging them up to the water slide to get them to try because we knew that they would love it but their anxiety to try was just too great.  There would have been someone ready to scoop them up at the bottom of the slide.  We wouldn't have really relaxed during the party because we would have had to been right by their side at all times.

Our kids are at all different levels of the autism spectrum with different levels of issues.  Some are good talkers, some non-verbal, some in regular ed., some in complete special ed., both most are somewhere in the middle and some are home schooled.  There is a saying in the autism world...."if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism."  These kids are as different and unique as each individual person on this earth.

What I do know from being on our autism journey for 8 years now, I will never underestimate these kids again!!  They have all learned and are absolutely educable.  The older we all get, the better we are at learning the signs when our children are overstressed and ready to melt down.  We have learned how to prevent this much better and how to handle to situation when it happens.  We also know that sometimes it is just going to happen and you may have to let them get through it on their own.  One wish that I do have, that will obviously not be able to happen......I wish that I could have raised Bobby with the knowledge that I have now about him and his issues.  However, don't we all want to be able to go back and redo some of the things that we have done in our lives with the knowledge that we have now.

Now, back to the picture......
These boys are walking independently up to the the top of the water slides, where an autism parent was waiting along with a life guard, they aren't ready to be completely independent on this journey.  The waited for the most part very well for their turn and generally only needed some verbal prompting for them to wait their turn.  We had an issue or two with waiting, but nowhere where the issues would have been a couple of years ago.  When they got to the bottom of the slide, they got out of the water with some verbal prompting and off they went up the stairs again to get another turn.

This picture could have been of any five boys at all!!  This picture is of five boys who are just excited to go down the water slide, just as any other five boys would be.

When we reflect back when they turn 16, 18, 21.....how much more will they have progressed?  What exciting things will they learn?  What accomplishments will they have?  Who knows!!  Who knows about any individual. What I do know is that they be further along than we dared to dream when they were diagnosed.

Happy 10th birthday Bobby.  Happy 10th birthday Andrew.  Happy 10th birthday Sonny.
We are so proud of you and all of your accomplishments and we can't wait to see how far you go!!!