When you live in autism land, you get used to your own child's quirks. For the most part, our homes have evolved into places set up with the particular child's comfort and safety in mind. Bobby is the most comfortable at home. The only real visible stressor here is when I pull out the vacuum cleaner. Bobby stops whatever he is doing when the hall closet door opens and he looks towards the door waiting to see if I am getting the dreaded vacuum or something else. The second he hears the wheels of the sweeper move on the hardwood floor, he stops whatever he is doing, runs upstairs to his room and doesn't come back until it is put back into the closet and he hears the click of the door being closed. He then comes to the top of the stairs to look down, I say, "I'm all done!!" and then he comes back downstairs. The fear is absolutely visible on his face when the vacuum comes out. I try to respect this fear as much as I can, but sometimes I need to sweep the floor while Bobby is at home......ironically, usually for messes that he has made!
Bobby has preferred public places that he likes to go......Giant Eagle and Target are tops on his list....no stressors at these locations, but it is one of the goals that I have planned to work on this summer....getting Bobby out to new and non-preferred stores and other public places.
On Saturday, Daddy needed to go to Home Depot. We decided to all go and take Bobby to this non-preferred location. As soon as we got out of the car, he ran right over and grabbed a cart. I was excited, thinking maybe he would go right on in since he had cart in hand.
He made it to the front door, but couldn't get himself to go through the door. I finally pushed the cart through the door and linked arms with Bobby and pulled him into the store. He immediately starting pushing the cart outside to the garden center. He could relax once he was outside. He went to the back end of the garden center and stood and looked at the door that leads to inside the store.
He even watched the door through the shelves giving him a little more protection from his fear of walking through this door. You can actually see it on his face. He wants to go through this door, but he just cannot make himself do it. After 10 minutes (Daddy went inside and did his shopping), I once again linked arms with Bobby and got him through the door. We walked a few isles in, then Bobby turned around and ran back to the garden center. Times like this autism really sucks!!! I would love to know what it is with Home Depot and Lowe's that scares him so much.
We left the cart there, and I got him through the door again to go find Daddy. I had to pull him through the door, but we made it. I didn't unlink arms this time until we found Dad. Found him, the store was very busy and he had to wait for someone to cut the 12 foot boards that he was buying so that they would fit into the car. I took Bobby to the car to wait.
While we were in the car waiting, Bobby said "push the buggy." I replied, "no buddy, we already pushed the buggy, we are waiting for Daddy." I couldn't believe he wanted to go back. I was worn out and didn't want to go back for more.
Once Daddy was back, we decided to go grab lunch before the 45 minute drive back home. Chick Fil A was close, so we drove out of the current shopping center into a different one close by to pick up our lunch. Cars were wrapped around the restaurant but we got in line because this particular location gets you through very quickly. By the time we got to order Bobby was upset. He was hitting his head yelling, "push the buggy."
Then it dawned on me......"Bobby, do you want to go to Ollie's?" Ollie's is a Big Lots type store that we have gone to immediately after Home Depot the couple other times that Bobby has ever been to this Home Depot store even though we hadn't been there for a couple of years.
After I said that, he calmed down, we got our food, ate in the car on our way back to the Home Depot shopping center. It was exactly what he wanted!!!! He got right out of the car and was a happy boy.
He saw a plastic shopping cart on the sidewalk and ran to get it (he doesn't like the metal ones, plastic are his favorite.....who knows why). He walked right through the self opening doors with no issue whatsoever.
This store is full of merchandise, making it difficult to get through easily with a cart. I finally convinced him to ditch the cart so that he could walk around a little easier.
Hoorah!! Bobby got to look at the double doors!!! Ah, how much Bobby loves double doors!!
We made it all around the store back to the front and Bobby ran over to the patio furniture and grabbed a seat. Happy boy. Then.................................
He took a higher chair and pulled it to the front and turned it facing the front exit doors.
OH MY WORD, Bobby lined himself up with the door and got himself a seat so that he could watch the automatic doors open and shut any time someone walked by. Daddy and I stood there with our mouths open!!! From the fear of Home Depot's doors to the joy of Ollie's doors. What I wouldn't give to get inside that head for a little while!!!!
We didn't buy anything, but we left with a child who was happier than a kid who left with a cart full of toys!!
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