The Reason I Jump....book review

The first time I saw this book come across the screen on one of the facebook autism sites that I follow, I knew that I needed to get a copy.  I put it on my Christmas list and it magically appeared under the Christmas tree and I opened it up on Christmas morning.

I got around to picking it up yesterday afternoon.  It only takes two hours, give or take, to read it from cover to cover.  I didn't want to finish it all in one sitting, so I put it down and finished it this morning. When I started reading, I confess that it wasn't what I was expecting or wanted it to be.

I had this same disappointment when I started reading another book written by a person with autism, Carly Fleischmann's book Carly's Voice.  Carly's book was actually written by her father with only the last chapter being actually written by Carly.  HOWEVER, yes it's a big however, I learned more about autism in that one chapter written by a nonverbal person with severe autism than from the other hundreds of books and articles that I had read on the topic.  If you haven't read this one either, please get a copy and read what she has to say, it's totally worth your time and money.

I just LOVE this girl.  I follow her on facebook and have such maternal pride for her as she started her first year of college this year and is campaigning to be a Cover Girl model in an ad campaign featuring special needs girls to show that they are beautiful, model worthy girls too!!!

OK, back to The Reason I Jump.....in this book Naoki Higashida answers questions pertaining to autism that people have asked him.  Not sure really what I wanted from this 13 year old non-verbal boy, but a Q & A wasn't it when I started reading.  But of course, he got to me.  I needed to take a break from reading because I didn't want the information that I was getting from him about my own child to end.

The thing about this book, it is how HE answers these questions, and I have definitely have learned over the years that no two people with autism, just like no two other people, are the same.  However, he and Carly have pretty much the same message...even though they can't speak, they hear us, they understand a lot, and they want to learn.

Yesterday was a harder day for Bobby.  The Christmas excitement and activities are over.  It was raining and cold outside and he was bored.  He kept saying "go play" OVER AND OVER ALL DAY LONG (which means go outside and play)...you know, to the point that you want to pull your hair out.  The day before was warmer and sunny so Bobby got to play outside for a couple of hours.  Daddy finally gave in, bundled Bobby up and took him play in the cold, foggy, wet, damp, yucky to the rest of us outside.  Bobby came back inside completely calm and happy and the rest of the evening was MUCH better.

After Bobby came back in from playing I continued reading some of my new book.  I got to question 45, "Why do you enjoy going out for walks so much?"  In his answer he states, "But to us people with special needs, nature is as important as our own lives.  The reason is that when we look at nature, we receive a sort of permission to be alive in this world, and our entire bodies get recharged.  However often we're ignored and pushed away by other people, nature will always give us a good big hug, here inside our hearts."  Now, those who know Bobby and have been following Bobby's World for a while, know that this is 100% true for Mr. Bobby.  To have someone else in his similar situation put it into words....priceless to this Mommy!!

He even goes on to address this further in question 47, "Would you give us an example of something people with autism really enjoy?"  Towards the end of his answer, he states, "Nature calms me down when I'm furious, and laughs with me when I'm happy.  You might think that it's not possible that nature could be a friend, not really.  But human beings are part of the animal kingdom too, and perhaps us people with autism still have some leftover awareness of this, buried somewhere deep down.  I'll always cherish the part of me that thinks of nature as a friend."

4 year old Bobby hanging out with friends!!

This book is not all about nature, these two questions just absolutely related to the moment.  Let me give you another example of how he answers a completely different topic with an answer that I never expected.  Question 56, "Do you need visual schedules?"  In his answer he says ".....please don't use visual things like pictures on our schedules, because then the activities on the schedules, and their times and timings, get imprinted too vividly onto our memories.  And when that happens, we end up stressing ourselves over whether what we are doing now is or isn't matching up with what was on the schedule.  In my case, I end up checking the time so often that I'm no longer able to enjoy what I am doing."  He ends the full answer by saying, "...being shown photos of places we're going to visit on an upcoming school trip, for example, can spoil our fun."  

The depth of insight and thought that a nonverbal boy is able to convey through his writing is mind blowing.  What is going on inside my own child's head?  This book is one of those things that you come across that makes you think differently about how you respond to and act in front of your child with autism.  

Naoki didn't give me all of the answers that I wanted.  Not sure why I thought that a 13 year old boy could!  I just had to step back and take his answers for what they are....his answers.  After all, I can't explain to you why I like bananas and my brother doesn't or why he likes eggs and I don't.  We could go into textures and smells and blah blah blah, but the answer for me is it just the way it is. Understanding why the brain makes this true doesn't change the way that it is.  I will NEVER like eggs, plain and simple.  My brother will NEVER like bananas, plain and simple.  

His insights in the last question, #58 "What are your thought on autism itself?"  Within his response he says, "....as a result of all the killings in the world and the selfish planet-wrecking that humanity has committed, a deep sense of crisis exists........Although people with autism look like other people physically......We are more like travelers from the distant, distant past.  And if, but our being here, we could help the people of the world remember what truly matters for the Earth, that would give us a quiet pleasure."

I am trying to learn these lessons from Bobby.  Bobby doesn't hate or judge people, he doesn't make fun of or talk about people, he doesn't look at the color of someone's skin or their sexual orientation, he doesn't care about how much money a person makes or what job they have, celebrity means nothing to Bobby.  The celebrity rock stars in Bobby's World are the people who take time to help him learn, now matter how long it takes.  They are the people who treat him with kindness and respect.  Take Bobby for a walk or jump on the trampoline with him and you are all kinds of special in his eyes.

If you want a glimpse into the mind of a person with autism, check out The Reason I Jump or Carly's Voice even better yet, read both!!   You are not going to get all of the answers, but you will have better insight.